Dealing with royalty is a maze of do and don’ts, all of which are geared towards assuring proper obeisance and respect towards the royal personage. Yet one slip up could lead towards utter and complete social catastrophe (meaning one doesn’t get invited to any more royal parties.)
Needless to say, dropping one’s drawers in public, as is the case in The Underpants, could be a concern. “And suppose he hears about this fiasco? Suppose he hears I am one of his clerks? He discovers my section, my bureau, my name. The King cannot abide scandal. He will have to fire me. The next thing you know, we’re out on the street! Poverty, shame, hunger!” said Theo Maske, husband of the lovely Louise, whose aforementioned underwear hit the ground during the king’s parade through Dusseldorf.
For those of you, loyal Long Wharf patrons, who might end up meeting royalty at some point, we offer a few helpful tips:
1) When first meeting the Queen, address her as “Your Majesty”
2) Bowing isn’t required of American citizens, but if one is a member of Great Britain or the Commonwealth, men are required to bow their heads slightly and women curtsey simply. Deep bows are saved for the stage.
3) Never be too familiar with a royal. Let them guide the conversation. Saying “Hey Charlie, what do you think of Arsenal’s chances this year?” is probably not the way to go. A simple “Is Your Majesty enjoying the football match?” is both appropriate and less likely to make them run away.
4) Keep your pants on at all times.